FOUR Tips on Wedding Etiquette that you NEED TO KNOW Before your Big Day!

As wedding season is in full swing, our third anniversary is just around the corner, and my mind has been reminiscing on all things wedding.

During my wedding season, I learned a TON about weddings. Before going through this, I had no idea some of this stuff even existed. I got corrected MULTIPLE times on the way I was doing things – and at the time I was all internally being a bridezilla and saying “JUST LET ME DO IT MY WAYYY”! Except I hate conflict so I quickly corrected myself and went with what was suggested to me instead.

Call me the master of avoiding conflict.

SO since I know that not everyone avoids conflict like the plague like I do, I thought I’d write a little piece on a few tedious wedding things that I learned in my personal experience. In this era of modern weddings, many things are up in the air as far as etiquette goes. However, I feel that these four tips are virtually timeless as far as whether you’re having a traditional wedding or a modern wedding. These should be thought of no matter what your wedding style is.

4 Tips on WEDDING ETIQUETTE You Need to Know before your BIG DAY! #WeeShare #Wedding

#1 Be careful that your wedding guest list coincides with your shower guest list.

This is a tip I was told the moment I started planning my bridal shower guest list. I was so thankful that multiple people told me of this rule because a couple of years later, I witnessed first hand this happening to someone.

When planning your wedding showers, it is VERY easy to get carried away and start inviting everyone you know to your shower. However, remember that you’re only going to want to invite people that are invited to the wedding. If you have no intention of inviting someone to the wedding – DO NOT invite them to the shower.

Here’s why. Typically, wedding showers occur before the wedding invitations are sent out. I sent my invitations out 6 weeks prior to the wedding and asked for my RSVP’s back 2 weeks prior. My showers were all about 2.5 months before my wedding. When someone receives an invitation to a wedding shower, it is understood that the shower is a way for

  • (a) the bride & groom to have the opportunity to get everything ready for after the wedding,
  • (b) for the wedding guests to be able to give a gift prior to the wedding in the prevention of having to drag a wedding gift to the venue on wedding day,
  • (c) it gives the bride and groom less things they have to worry about being transported after the wedding and
  • (d) it allows the bride and groom to send out thank you notes prior to the madness of a wedding and honeymoon.

It also really hurts the feelings of the person who went {in excitement} to the wedding shower only to find out that they were {in reality} not important enough to make the cut to actually witness the wedding.



When you send out your wedding invitations, chances are, you will need RSVPs. You will put a little envelope with a little card in the invitation with the expectation that the recipient will fill it out and return it to you so that you can get the numbers of atendees to your caterers, venue, and photographer.

Although .45 cents (or however much stamps cost these days) is not that much, it is a HASSLE (and a bit rude) to expect your guests to fill out your RSVP and find/buy a stamp in order to send it back to you.

You are going to be doing REALLY GOOD to even get them to RSVP to the wedding – and that chance goes down dramatically when they have to stamp the RSVP themselves.


3. Inform your guests on your invitation/RSVP card if children are not welcome at your wedding.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having an all-adult wedding. Many people don’t want the extra noise that children bring – this is completely understandable! Memory videos are taken during a wedding and screaming children do not always make the greatest background song. Sometimes bridal parties have all intentions of partying HARD during the reception after a wedding. If this is your choice – you may not want children in the midst of that. COMPLETELY understandable!

If you’ve made the choice in your wedding to not have children in attendance, my suggestion is to simply inform your guests on your RSVP card. That way, before your guests commit to coming to your wedding, they have the opportunity to find childcare!


4. Thank everybody AFTER you are no longer in front of them.

Obviously, at your showers and at your wedding, you will say thank you a million times. You will say thank you for the beautiful gift and you will say thank you for coming, you will say thank you when someone compliments you, and you will say thank you when someone blesses your marriage.

That is not enough.

It may seem archaic to send out thank you notes in this day and age. You may think that you thanked them in person, so why send a note saying thank you, that’s redundant.

I promise it means something. Even though you may spend 5 minutes on each person’s thank you note for them to briefly open it up and then throw  away, barely noticed, the absence of a thank you note speaks LOUDLY.

The best way to do it is hand writing a custom note to each person that blessed you with some sort of gift. However, we live in a FAST PACED day that leaves little time for things such as this. So, you can hit up some place like Sams or Shutterfly that will create a thank you note that already has a message on each note. You simply need to address, stamp, and send! It’s not as personal, but it will get the job done.


Wedding seasons are stressful and full of wonderful, fun memories. The purpose of this post is to simply help inform you and prevent some stress that may arise! Even if you don’t agree with these practices and choose to do it another way – you will at least be informed and aware that someone may come and correct you as they did me!